By Chris McClure Contributing Editor
Nursing homes aren’t for the faint of heart. Most of us have had some level of contact with one or more through the years. They are a place of dread for those who have reached the twilight years of life.
Our first introduction to such places is typically when a grandparent reaches the point that they can no longer care for themselves. Their children often are faced with the burden of forcing the aging and sometimes infirm to consider relocation from their home of many years to a place where people go to die – at least that is the perception.
In past generations, an aging parent would move into the home of one of their children to spend their final years surrounded by loved ones. The changing societal norms that moved most women into public roles in the workplace as well as the extended longevity of humanity due to better nutrition and medical care have made such arrangements extremely rare, so nursing homes have proliferated to meet the demands of an aging population.
Very few old cowboys end up like they would choose – lying down on the green grass beneath a warm spring sun with their favorite horse grazing nearby.
Even old cowboys often end up in such institutions – at least those who have survived crazy horses, wild cattle and the high-risk occupation of their choosing to reach an age of “retirement.” They are often misfits in such facilities. They are surrounded by people who never knew the challenges they faced because most of the elderly spent their working years in softer jobs that didn’t take such a toll on their bodies.
When you walk into those halls filled with wheelchairs and random babblings that often make no sense, you can spot the old cowboys by their hat, or maybe boots or perhaps missing fingers. They likely have a weathered face that reflects many years of exposure to the elements while tending cattle. Their hands are often curled in arthritic knots that make you wonder how they can hold a fork to feed themselves. The lifelong abuse of their bodies means they are most likely riding one of those wheeled chairs along the alleys (hallways) and flirting with the ladies they meet along the way.
Those extended lives often mean the challenges of memory and cognitive function have been compromised by deteriorated mental capacity. The present often blends with the past and the sense of place is replaced by memories of times long swept away by the passages of this unique planet around the fiery ball that fuels our existence. The images filling the minds of these well-seasoned residents often spring from childhood or perhaps the early days of a career filled with hopes and dreams that were never realized.
Conversations may revolve around cow prices, feed prices, the weather or perhaps a colt that was the prettiest you ever laid eyes on. Those same conversations are repeated endlessly and relived as though they occurred only yesterday. In those often-clouded minds, it was only yesterday.
Very few old cowboys end up like they would choose – lying down on the green grass beneath a warm spring sun with their favorite horse grazing nearby. Instead, they are forced against their will into the halls and walls of the old and dying to spend their last days among strangers who likely never rode a horse or swung a loop. In their minds, though, those green pastures still call and the sounds of cattle coming off a truck fill their thoughts with the smell of dust and manure and sweaty hides.
They need old friends to come visit them. They need to relive the glory days of broncs and cattle and popping brush. They need to be remembered and cherished. They need someone to record their stories as they talk about the hard times and the good times, the wins and the losses as a solitary tear leaks from the corner of eyes gone dim with time and sunshine.
We often get so busy with living and dealing with the daily demands of life that we forget those who have been down those dusty trails ahead of us. Their wisdom and experiences can be informative, but more important, they need to feel that they are valued. One day we will likely find ourselves in similar places. Hopefully there will be plenty of family and friends that take the time to make those final years a blessing.
