Where’re the Ladies?

By Chris McClure  Contributing Editor

Two old ranchers were talking about a recent bull sale they attended,
which left them somewhat perplexed.
Jake turned to Cole and said, “Just what’s an EPD?
Is it like an STD? And how does it relate to this $INDEXed?”

“Well Jake, I think it has something to do with how those bulls perform.
They take all kinds of measurements and run a calculation.
That is supposed to tell you what kind of calves they will produce.
So, it’s kind of like a pre-breeding evaluation.”

“Oh, I seen that a few times. I’d hate to be a bull
with that thing stuck in me and the vet filling me with electricity!”
“No, Jake, not like that! It’s more about measuring things
and refining wild guesses with a little specificity.”

“All I really wanted to know was if he’d throw big calves
and that feller just droned on about Birth Weight, and Weaning Weight
and Scrotal Circumference and Maternal Traits and I kept thinking,
‘It’s a bull! Why are you talking about his Mama?’”

“Well, Jake, did you buy any? Surely you liked some of them.”
“Yep, Cole, I bought one because I liked how he looked.”
“So, how did he look?”
“He looked like the only thing on his mind was, ‘Where’re the ladies!?’”